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Kostecka, Chris & The Yuan Twins – Hippo Ocracy
Sometimes I get books to review that are perfectly fine books, they’re just not for me. Where I’m at in my life, the mood I’m in at the time, it just happens sometimes. For example, this is a book that’s about 2/3 giant fight scene between an army of hippos and an army of crocodiles. Right away I’m guessing a good chunk of you either really want to see what it’s all about, while the rest of you just have no interest in such a fight. I’m in the latter camp. The fight scene felt like it went on WAY too long, and if you’re just coming along for a wide variety of gore, most of the kills were pretty basic. So what’s the story? Things start off with our heroes (the king, his wife and his son) meeting up with another clan that’s having a harder time. We also meet the squirrels who are living in the king’s hair and the king of the sea, who appears to be a puffer fish who also uses a cane. Underwater. While also having no legs. Is it odd to fixate on that one aspect of the book? Because it strikes me as something that never got past the “looks kind of cool” stage. Not necessarily a bad stage, but if your fish king uses a cane, at some point you should probably explain that. Anyway, from there we learn that the king hippo (Khipo) literally shits chimichangas and burritos. Yes, and we see this happen in great detail, along with the vomit that comes from a reaction, along with the slipping and sliding on said vomit… yeah, it’s a gross book. Next they’re building a wall to keep all the “illegals” out, and I was expecting some social commentary here, either for or against, it being 2019 and all, but nope, it’s just a wall. Most of the rest of the book is that very long fight scene, meaning it’s time to wrap this up. Despite my overall indifference, there are people reading this who are intrigued by the story or concept, and you people, you’ll probably love this! I could take it or leave it, but I’m also well into the “getting too old to be reviewing comics” stage. Why are you taking comics advice from a curmudgeon? $16
Kostecka, Chris & Smith, Dietrich – The President Killed My Dog #2
The President Killed My Dog #2
There was always a chance that this series would lose me, and it sure looks like that process started with this issue. I still mostly like the premise, although it would have been a more solid connection if the President’s limo was directly responsible for the death of her dog, instead of it just being basically a traffic jam that did it after some random asshole hit her. This time around we learn more about her history with her dog, her husband and his very convenient underground escape tunnel, and her quest to either get bullets for her gun or a new gun. A lot of it felt like wheel spinning, to be honest. Killing time until the real action of trying to get to the President starts. And it’s not terrible, it’s just that my suspension of disbelief was failing me completely by the end. That’s saying a lot when I’m already on board for the “out for revenge against the President and his dog” concept. But… OK, there’s no way to do this without spoilers, so off I go. Generally speaking, if you liked the first issue there’s enough here to keep going with this issue. But there’s a moment when Mary crashes her car into the gun shop after hours to take what she needs, and it’s just absurd. The idea that there were no cameras or security alarm was shaky enough, but even giving them that there’s still the fact that cops surround her house in the morning. Because she hadn’t been paying her mortgage, nothing to do with the gun shop. Anyway, she starts shooting at them, either hitting three of them or picturing it so vividly in her mind that it left me confused as to whether or not it actually happened. Which would take her completely out of the moral high ground. Even if that was just her picturing what could happen, her house still explodes in a great ball of flame at the end, meaning she definitely killed some cops (and repo men) when that happened. So now she’s going to be a fugitive going after the President, and I can’t imagine my problem with the believability of what’s happening is going to improve when that’s going down. So yeah, maybe it picks up after this, or maybe it starts making sense. It’s also possible that it gets thoroughly ridiculous from here on out. We’ll see! $6.99
Kostecka, Chris & Smith, Dietrich – The President Killed My Dog
The President Killed My Dog #1
So here’s a warning that should already by obvious by the title: if you’re one of those people who is upset by depictions of violence to animals… you’re obviously going to want to give this one a pass. Not that there’s an excessive amount of violence, but you can tell what’s going to happen here, and that death scene, hooo boy. But hey, there’s more to the comic that a dead dog! We also learn about Mary, who’s been trying to get by through picking up junk. She’s getting over the death of her husband, which is where Cindy (the dog, named after their miscarried child) comes in. Mary and Cindy are inseparable for years, collecting junk and going about their lives, until, well, Cindy gets hit by a car. There’s not much to spoil here that the title doesn’t already take care of, but I will say that the way this dog died was different than I had guessed. See, there’s still a chance for surprise! There’s another issue after that, which you may have guessed is going to be a revenge story. How is that going to work when the bad guy is the president? Stay tuned to find out! $6.99
