Goofy Funnies #3
I tried to make that cover a little smaller so as not to offend the delicate flowers in the audience, but the rest of you can just click on it to see boobs if you want. And who doesn’t want to see that? Most ladies, probably. And anybody at work who’s innocently coming to this website to learn more about small press comics, but you people should know that the small press stuff often has some nudity in it. Anyway, yes, this is going to be another review of a porn comic, or a for real “adult” comic instead of a comic that is listed as “adult” because it has the word “fuck” in it somewhere. And once again I’m going to dance around a few things, due to my generally shy nature and unwillingness to disclose too much about myself and my tastes. First off, I have to say that I find it hilarious that a title with this much sex in it (and on the cover, obviously) has as an innocuous of a title as “Goofy Funnies.” Granted, there is generally something funny in each story, but it’s mostly about the sexy time. Stories in this one include (just in case anybody is out there who wants to buy this for the stories and not for the fact that Dexter has some serious skills in his artistic depictions of lady parts) a young man whose time stuck in the nurse’s office becomes a lot more enjoyable when the student nurse takes over, a bear/man creature whose outdoor sex takes an interesting turn when a bee hive drops onto his head in the middle of coitus, an absolutely disgusting “do it yourself” Tiajuana bible guide involving Mary Worth characters, the surprisingly happy story of a woman with the perfect body and “a face like a can of smashed assholes,” a character from Popeye that you probably never wanted to see having sex, um, having sex, and a stop at an intergalactic garage that involves that perennial favorite of a woman who’s stuck bent over in compromising position but ends up loving the whole incident. Like I said, the man can draw one sexy (if maybe not so realistic in the real world, but this is a comic and not the real world) woman, which is probably what you’re looking for if you’re on the hunt for a naked adult comic. If not or if you’re offended by this whole concept, why did you read this far into the review if you could so clearly see those boobs on the cover? You need to take a long look at yourself in the mirror, dude. $4
Too Blue Comix #1
Granted, I don’t usually list contact information for everybody in an anthology, but figured I could make an exception for an eight page comic. This is a series of comics with adult stories, and in this case that means boobs and penises (peni?) and such. Which has proved to be impervious to critical analysis in the past, but hey, it’s Friday, I’ll give it a shot. The bulk of this comic is Simon Mackie’s story about a man taking his son out to get laid. He brings him upstairs to a prostitute and leaves them together, at which point the young man is alarmed by the woman with very little clothes on and flees. But he does manage to get “laid.” Sort of. That’s where the comedy comes in, you see. Dexter has two single page stories next, one dealing with all the depravities listed in an adult comic (and where the line is of going too far) and one that combines making a deal for a good grade with the brief, sad life of sperm as it hits the air. Images by Brad W. Foster and Macedonio bookend this comic nicely. Dexter covers all the really graphic stuff this time around, so if that offends you you could always skip those bits (even if they are the most consistently funny bits in the comic) and read the rest of it. Then again, why would you have purchased an adult comic if comic characters having various forms of sex offended you? The point is that you get some funny mixed in with some sexy here. If that’s your thing, $1 isn’t much to ask for this, is it?
Too Blue Comix #3
Would somebody please send me a handbook on how to review porn comics? Even parodies of porn comics are tricky, but I have no idea what to say about stuff like this. Do you like drawn representations of sex and various sexual situations by different artists, with funny punch lines galore? Then you’ll love Too Blue Comix! There, does that work? Artists in this one include Dexter Cockburn (it is his company putting this out, after all, and who draws better comic sex than Dexter?), Aung Min Min, Simon Mackie, Roy Cutting and somebody called JTW. Hey, it’s a comic with naked bits, I can see why you’d go with a pseudonym. Stories include the unintended consequences of getting a coin that hypnotizes people and asking a woman to “fuck my brains out,” double giant booties, and a real life action figure in the sack. There are also a few full page spreads, including Dexter’s back cover of a giant fuck sandwich. This is a short and tiny mini, and that first Dexter strip is already in another one of his comics, but hey, $1 for some serious nudity and sex can’t be that bad.
The crime issue! If you’ve read past issues of this anthology and think that this is a subject that this crew could handle very well, you were absolutely correct. My only complaint is that almost the first half of the book is dedicated to a letters page and comics and zine reviews. Not that I hate such things, but sometimes it gets in the way of the actual comics, and I’m speaking from my own personal and cranky bias about getting zines and comics all jumbled up. As for the comics themselves, it’s hard not to find plenty to love. When things start off with a color strip about Nazi superzombie monkey sleeper agents (by Ryan Vella), you know you’ve reading a book with tons of potential. Well I do anyway, it’s entirely possible that such a thing would turn you off immediately, in which case I’d recommend leaving this review now. It’s OK, there are plenty of other comics to read about on this site and not a single one of them has a Nazi superzombie monkey sleeper agent to bother you. Strips include an actual serial killer and the Hamburglar discussing royalties (by “Glenno,” which may or may not refer to Glenn Smith), Adam Pasion (or his story stand-in) lighting an empty pool on fire as kids, Stratu with a brother killing his sister after a stupid argument, scribbling a penis on a “Walk” sign (by Bize), Chris Mikul with the profoundly strange story of Kenneth Neu, Shaun Craike with his crisis of conscience after his only attempted theft, Neale Blandon with the story of the property theft of Mickey Mouse, Anton Emdin with the angriest man on earth and Dexter Cockburn (with one of the few stories of his without visible sexual organs) with the story of the murder of a young girl and the enigmatic diary entry detailing the deed. There are also two text pieces by Damian McDonald and Henry L. Racicot, both of which are well worth reading. As I already gave away in the intro, this comic is well worth picking up. I only mentioned about half of the stories to leave you with a lot of surprises, and even if you think that comic and zine reviews are wasted space (and, even though I pointed them out, I did notice a few comics I should probably check out, making me a bit of a moron for even mentioning that in a negative light) there are still more than enough comics here to make this worth the $5.
Oh My! Comix
I’ve never really come up with a good way on this site to differentiate actual adult comics (you know, with boobs and dicks and stuff) and adult themed comics (pretty much all of the small press world that’s not directly aimed at kids). I’ve also never come up with a good way to review them, as how do you review something that is made to turn people on? Dexter (and I’m just guessing that that isn’t his real name; if it is he really had no choice in terms of his calling) lets me ignore that debate for another day with this issue, as there’s more than enough funny in here to call it objectively good, even with good chunks of it being sexy as hell. There’s also a wide variety of stories. The first one deals with a man who is coming home on the bus after watching a horror movie. He falls asleep to an empty bus and wakes up to a bus full of pale creatures with dark eyes that he assumes are ghouls. To him, there’s only one way to find out if he’s dreaming: start having sex with the lady ghoul. No words are said by anybody (although we do get some hilarious thought bubbles as the action escalates), and the kicker at the end is pure genius. Other stories involve the accidental knocking out of an eyeball (and the unfortunate choice of a plug), a crooning cat and his temporary luck with the lady cats, Lovecraft Jr. (and if you don’t chuckle a little at the “Tentacoo Wape” line then you clearly haven’t seen/heard about enough anime porn), the adult supervision involved in a camping trip with one male adult and a young woman who has seriously blossomed (with all sorts of hijinx for the male kids who get to do their own thing unsupervised for what I hope are obvious reasons), a couple of full page gag strips and a “Can You Spot the Crime” strip on the back cover. There’s also one regular old story involving the murder of a child in the 1800’s, which was actually an informative and entertaining strip, it just felt a little out of place amidst all the fucking. This is definitely for adults only, as kids in this country are only allowed to see horrific acts of violence all day every day, but boobs and/or insertion is clearly too much for the poor dears. For us adults, I’m already a big fan after one issue. Having an adult comic artist who is both funny and capable of drawing some explicitly sexy scenes is a rarity, and I’m looking forward to reading the rest of the comics Dexter sent me (even if I am going to have increasing trouble finding samples or covers without nudity, assuming I continue to care about such things). $4
When they say this is 18+, they are not fucking around. Just a warning to all you sensitive souls out there. This is a collection of stories about Dads, featuring that list of names on the cover (seriously, click on it to check it out if you want, I’m not going to type them all here). As you might expect, very few of these stories are positive, and most of them aren’t true, but they are funny stories.Â Highlights include Neal Blanden’s story about not being able to visit his mother for the last two months of her life because his Dad was seeing another woman, Dexter Cockburn (a hilariously fake name) and his story about a Dad helping out with an “adventure club” and his noticing how one of the girl members has blossomed, Glenn Smith and his litany of Dads throughout history, Julie Doye and her Dad’s new teeth, Anton Emdin with his “Deadbeat Dad” strips (which, if there were any justice in the world, would be in newspapers across the globe), Mike Diana playing with the concept of a Dad and his two-way mirror, Ryan Vella with the shortest “Tales From the Crypt” story ever, Chris Mikul with one of the few seemingly true stories in the book, and Lark with a brilliant bit of father/son bonding. There’s also an accurate table of contents (I bitch when it isn’t present, so I should praise when it is, right?), a series of reviews on other minis, and plenty of other fair to great stories in here that I haven’t mentioned to save you some surprises.Â No idea on the price of this thing, as the website doesn’t have a listing, but I’d have to say at least $7 for the fancy front and back cover and the sheer size of the thing. Contact the website, why don’t you, and you should also go there because the guy apparently spends a lot of time reviewing comics and such, which I clearly think is a good use of free time.