Full Sanction: Threats
OK, technically I added that title to the comic, but there are a bunch of issues of this series out there and I want readers to at least have a chance to tell them apart. This comic defies review (in general but this issue in particular), as it either has a form of humor that you find funny or you don’t have a working sense of humor. Um, I meant to say that your brand of humor may be different. This issue starts off with one of our heroes steaming as our other hero says goodbye to a friend. The angry man, free to vent, spends the rest of the comic coming up with a wide variety of insults to describe just what he would do to this unseen person if given the chance while his other friend tries to talk him down and then instigates him a bit for the sheer fun of it. This thing is packed with funny threats, some of which I defy you not to steal and use in your own lives. Hell, even the list of rejected threats on the inside back cover is full of comedy gold. This is what makes it impossible to review, because if I start going through these threats then I’m taking that joy of discovery away from you. So to make this simple: do you enjoy threatening your friends with horrific, anatomically implausible statements? If so, consider this a textbook of sorts. Or if you just like funny things, this fits the bill for that too.
Full Sanction: Road Trip!
Oh stick figures, there’s no better way to make a comic that shows everybody else that they can make comics too. After all, anybody can draw a stick figure, right? The funny thing is that I’m pretty sure all of these backgrounds were made on a computer, which means that it’s entirely possible that the stick figures were too, which is funny as hell if true. Anyway, this comic is, as you may have guessed, about a road trip. One of our heroes (don’t ask me how you tell two stick figures with identical features apart) gets a message from his carrier pigeon about their getting a job reading comics to kids in Michigan. They set out, have a number of adventures along the way (the number of adventures that will fit into a 12 page book), and hilarity ensues. No really, there are more than a few really funny bits, and for the love of all that is holy don’t forget to flip this thing over and look at that back cover when you’re finished. I’m also not going to ruin the funny books for you, because I already mentioned how long this book is and there’s already a sample page down there. If that doesn’t get you curious, maybe dig around their website a bit, because for real, it’s funny.
Secret Prison #2
Here’s hoping it’s still OK to use images from the internets for the review, as it’s impossible for me to scan the newspaper sized stuff.Â And if you agree with me that Benjamin Marra is tearing shit up with that cover, you should see the back cover by Pat Aulisio.Â I’m also not entirely sure if it’s possible for any old schmuck online to get a copy of this, as I think it’s only available at cons, but that’s a damned shame for a pile of great strips like this.Â Share it with the world!Â If I’m not mistaken (and I probably am) this one is even longer than the last issue, and it’s one of those rare anthologies with no really weak pieces.Â Sure, some things are better than others, whatever that means, but everything in here has something going for it.Â Strips in here (and they are strips, nothing is longer than 2 pages) include Pat’s tale of deliciously sorrowful soul, Luke Pearson’s absolutely brilliant “How to Exist For a Day,” Ian’s silent cubed spy story, Josh Burggraf’s text message-a-rific story of need, Cody Pickrodt with some true confessions, Bob Pistilli going a long way for a great ending, Box Brown and his experience with an exotic “delicacy,” the story behind that ridiculously good cover by Benjamin Marra, Art Baxter loving the summer, Simon Gardenfors getting the most out of his page with a series of mishaps involving a round dude wearing underwear, Kelly Phillips wondering if there’s a line cardiologists should not cross, Cyn Why with a tale for the ages, Steve Teare going to heaven, Doug Slack with a pile of funnies, and Jose Mochove & Rusty Rowley using photos to destroy us with reality.Â I skipped a few to leave some surprises for people who manage to find an actual copy of this, not that I spoiled too much for the other stories, but everybody likes surprises, right?Â Seriously, show this to the world, you guys!Â A working table of contents, a huge pile of talent, this should not be kept away from the world at large.Â Unless it isn’t, and I’m wrong, in which case let me know and I’ll tell people here how to buy it.